is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She even gives head with a lisp.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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