There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
