I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
