what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
