The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
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I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
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I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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