Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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