would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Come on in and take your pants off
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