Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
