I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Randomize
