You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
You left your phone here
Wait...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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