We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
