yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
