I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize