Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
