For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
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