you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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