you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
