It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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