i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
