wakey wakey hands off snakey
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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