we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
