I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
