just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
