Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize