I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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