Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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