why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
