So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize