in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
