stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
