You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
