i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
