How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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