this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
