please come you make the beer taste better
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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