There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
