She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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