That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
