why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
