Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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