she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I need mimosas to revive my soul
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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