Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
