the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
