Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize