I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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