I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
