I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
