how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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