Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
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