brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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