I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
