i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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