dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
