Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
