I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
