Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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