Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
