First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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