I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
