I want to stick my p in your. b.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
