I like my sex mixed with concussions.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
