Whod you bang
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
